老童摆龙门

"No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."

The speaker asserts that to have significantly improvement in any field needs outsiders to bring their knowledge and experience to the field. (no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study.有重新组织语言的必要吗？后果是永远不会比原来的好。) I agree with the speaker in most of the cases.（感觉加上of the好一点，不懂理由）   With the development of the society, there are more and more communications and exchanges between different study fields.(fields of study不好吗？为啥要倒过来呢？)  By properly using the knowledge and experience outsiders bring into, significant improvement is possible to obtain in most of the fields.（论据似乎不足，建议从生物学杂交的角度简单论述一下。）

In the field of science, for example, great improvements have been made by combining the knowledge of biology and physics.  For thousands of year, people observe different plants and animals and learn lives on earth other than human beings by (with) naked eyes by taking pictures of the growing cycles of plants or the (这两个the是否都应该要？)life customs （有social customs一说，不知道有没有life customs的说法，应考，要特别注意，不能在这种场合搞创新，还是social customs保险一点。）of animals.  Not until 19^th century, can we learn these living creatures in a more detailed way by using “microscope”.  With the development of physics, especially the knowledge of lights of lenses,（不懂物理，看不懂。但是总觉得不太对劲。是否是how focus lights through lenses? 或者把of改成and？不敢妄论。）scientists invented light microscope.  By using microscope in the biological field, biologists started to pay attention to more detailed information, such as cells, DNA, etc.  By adopting microscope from the physical field, the development of biology has been leading （led应该可以了吧？）to a next generation.  （From this example放在前面是否更能强烈表达意思？）We can see from the example that the exchange of ideas or communication between different study fields is quite necessary and beneficial.  Without the help of people learning physics, biologist might be still drawing the outlines of plants, not to say understanding of genetics.

Another example can be illustrated from the field of architecture.  Nowadays, more and more sky crafters（有这么说的？我知道有sky scrapes的说法，楼高擦着天嘛，比较合理） have been built around the world.  From the（用a是否更合理）very simple hut to high buildings, knowledge from other fields such as material science, dynamics, aesthetics have（被电脑骗了吧，它只认aesthetics的s，knowledge应当为不可数名词，得用has吧） been introduced into the field of architecture.  For example, we used to simply use windows and wall for the outside of the building, nowadays, we can see more colorful shining glasses to be used as the outsider for both the（可不用吧） beauty and solar-energy saving.  Therefore, by introducing knowledge form other field, architectures can design more beautiful and useful buildings.

On the other hand, some fields like painting and music may need less help from outsiders.（这句不错，特别喜欢may need less help …留有余地）  Most of the (不懂道理，但是感觉就是这样)artists can finish their work by simply a pen and a piece of paper.  Similar for the musicians, Beethoven finished his masterpiece, No. 9 symphony, with a piano, a pencil and a piece of paper.  Since the most important thing for an artist is to show people their individual feelings and thoughts, they may need less help of the outsiders. 

In sum, I think for most of the fields, communication and exchanging ideas with other fields are necessary and helpful.  With the help of outsiders, it is quite possible to make significant improvements.  Yet, it is not always the case, for fields like painting and music, they can develop quite well without the help of the outsiders.

（总体评价：观点明确，所举例子还过的去，语言基本流畅，段落、转折分明。但是，论述的深度和力度不够，如果能从理论上把杂交优势，泥鳅理论阐述出来就更好了。语言上还不够严谨，用错几处词汇，特别是冠词有点乱。另外，语言还不具有煽动性，可以增加使用诸如penetrate, stimulate, shock, disturb, revolution, motivate, encourage, imerge等词汇来烘托外来者对原学科的冲击。）